If I was Santa Claus... - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: If I was Santa Claus... (/showthread.php?tid=33384)

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If I was Santa Claus... - Anhil8tor - 12-23-2005

can you do an 8 one?

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If I was Santa Claus... - minorthreat - 12-23-2005

I liked it last year when I received the same e-mail.

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If I was Santa Claus... - Flumper Barflusterbutt - 12-23-2005

Anhil8tor Wrote:can you do an 8 one?

Anhil8tor Wrote:[COLOR="Red"]Dear Santa,

How you been. Chrismus do cum in 5 or 4 days my fren. We be how you say good boy dis yeer. Chef done cook us up some chrismus duk wif some o dem crawfish ettoufe I garantee. It be so dam good you wanna slap yore mamma. You done probably kneaux what I want, but make sure you brang me some a dem cane pole, a new frog giggin lite, an a new pare a dem waddin boots.

Love,


Anhil8tor[/COLOR]

Dear Anhil8tor,

I thought you died in that hurricane. Tell you what, I'll bring you a body bag and see if you can make good use of it. Thanks.


Love,

Flumper Claus

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If I was Santa Claus... - Flumper Barflusterbutt - 12-23-2005

minorthreat Wrote:I liked it last year when I received the same e-mail.

minorthreat Wrote:[COLOR="Red"]Dear Santa,

I would like a toy car.

Thanks,

Minorthreat[/COLOR]

Dear Minorthreat,

How about you choke on a cock.


Thanks,

Flumper Claus

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If I was Santa Claus... - Anhil8tor - 12-23-2005

Dear Santa Claus,

This year, I have been a very passive aggressive old man. I have compulsively pillaged, and I have always helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of age-inappropriate pants this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring Valium. For my daddy, please bring a new Rogaine prescription. For my little brother, please bring methodone. For my doggy, please bring a homeopathic heartworm remedy. Oh – and for my pool boy, please bring some worthless tchotchkes.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spider Man sheets, and front row tickets to Aaron Carter – plus backstage passes so I can get airborne Chlamydia! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my amputee Afghan orphan. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

Love,

Flumper Claus

PS: Please say hi to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Tom Foolery ? He has been a really corrupt coprophile all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog shit in their stocking. Thanks!



(I got nothing)

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If I was Santa Claus... - WoolyGoat - 12-23-2005

"kneaux"

:lool:

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If I was Santa Claus... - Anhil8tor - 12-23-2005

WoolyGoat Wrote:"kneaux"

:lool:

Yeah. .that shit is dead on. Fucking coon asses..

I hate seeing signs printed

Geaux Cajuns!

:ct:

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If I was Santa Claus... - Anhil8tor - 12-22-2006

Flumper Barflusterbutt Wrote:Dear Anhil8tor,

I thought you died in that hurricane. Tell you what, I'll bring you a body bag and see if you can make good use of it. Thanks.


Love,

Flumper Claus

We had none of dem dere hurricanes dis year santa. Will you be coming dis year?

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