Women's Revenge - Printable Version

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Women's Revenge - Anhil8tor - 06-07-2005

> > >
> > >
> > > "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished
> to
> > > purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for
>a
> > > television set in her purse.
> > >
> > > "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied,
>"
> > but
> > > my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was
>the
> > most
> > > evil thing I could do to him legally."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
> > >
> > > (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
> > >
> > >
> > > I know I'm not going to understand women.
> > >
> > > I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax pour it onto
>your
> > > upper thigh,
> > >
> > > rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > MARRIAGE SEMINAR
> > >
> > >
> > > While attendi! ng a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom
>and
> > his
> > > wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands
> and
> > wives know the things! that are important to each other." He
>addressed
> > the man,
> > > "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over,
> touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury,
>isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
> > >
> > >
> > > A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The
> sales
> > > girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he
> is
> > looking
> > > for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct
> > aisle.
> > > A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a
>ball
>of string on the counter.
> > >
> > > She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some
>tampons
> > for your wife?
> > >
> > > He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to
>the
> > store
> > > to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of
> tobacco
> > and
> > > some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I
> > figure
> > > if I have to roll my own, so does she.
> > >
> > >
> > > WIFE VS. HUSBAND
> > >
> > >
> > > A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
>word.
> > An
> > >earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to
> > concede
> > >their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
>the
> > >husband asked sarcastically,
> > >
> > > "Relatives of yours?"
> > >
> > > "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
> > >
> > >
> > > WORDS
> > >
> > >
> > > A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
> > day...
> > > 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be
> because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then
>turned to his wife
> > and asked, "What?"
> > >
> > >
> > > CREATION
> > >
> > >
> > >A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
> and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow
>me to
> > explain.
> > God made me beautiful so you would be att racted to me; God made me
> stupid so I would be attracted to you!
> > >
> > >
> > > WHO DOES WHAT
> > >
> > >
> > A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
> > coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get
>up
> first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The
>husband said,
> > You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because
>that
> is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No,
>you
> > should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do
>the coffee."
> > Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
> > >
> > So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
> > the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > PASS THESE ALONG.
> > >
> > >
> > > Live well, Love much, Laugh often
> > >

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