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IT horoscope 6/23/05 - Printable Version

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IT horoscope 6/23/05 - Anhil8tor - 06-23-2005

ARIES (March 21 - April 20)
Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to
call it a night. their competitive streak makes them prone to
closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get
mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a
good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail.
Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that
whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise.
They can be counted on to do the same for you- so long as you haven't
gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky
Gemini.

TAURUS (April 21 - May 21)
Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow
rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a
one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate
who
spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to
employers,
the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body
shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is
not
to say that the Bull is by any means a tee-todler...god, no. A
squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup,
some
would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when
intoxicated.

GEMINI (May 22 - June 21)
Geminis can drink without changing their behavior much... they're
so
naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard
to
tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and
allusion then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state
of
intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Geminis possess the magic
ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very
tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different
cocktails every round -- repetition is boring-and may create a
theme
(like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for
their
own amusement.

CANCER (June 22 - July 22)
Cancer is a comfort drinker-and an extra wine with dinner or an
after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer
darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must
guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out
secret
parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists-and, in true
Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get
"tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's
nothing better than wapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles
of
inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite
Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd
be
adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.

LEO (July 23 - August 21)
Leo likes to drink and dance-they're often fabulous dancers, and
usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding
dignity
and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're
darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their
limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they
get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue-and perhaps not with
the
one that brought them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even
when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and
expect
a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you
the next day.

VIRGO (August 22 - September 23)
Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender.
Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less
than other signs, sure-but it could also lead to drinking booze
neat,
to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely
get fully shellacked-but, oh, when they do Virgo's controlled by
the
intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they
let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly
unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to
drink
myself into a low level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the
subgenius IQ!

LIBRA (September 24 - October 23)
"I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so
damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and
relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with
Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side
(they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really
work
a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in
self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of
trouble-including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in
the
evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking
out
the night's events entirely. Oops!

SCORPIO (October 24 - November 22)
Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at
you
and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're
hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to
drink,
and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see
the
sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a
personality-altering tool-though if depressed, self-loathing
Scorps
seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating
drinking
pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts.They also
remember everything -- especially what you did when you were
blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

SAGITTARIUS (November 23 - December 22)
In vino verit as-and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When
buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own.
Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with.
This
is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the
sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole
Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then
persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else-like a
nightclub,
or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue
(including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous)


CAPRICORN (December 23 - January 20)
Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast,
money-hungry
and status-thirsty-no wonder they get left off the astrological
cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie
Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star:
independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to
please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you to
quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on
or
totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to
loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hook
up
with a cute groupie.



AQUARIUS (January 21 - February 19)
Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for
water,
that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and
if
they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain
or
a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing,
however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get
combative-and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case.
Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make
the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start
raising their wrist): Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and
capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers
while sober.



PISCES (February 20 - March 20)
If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a
sign and an addictive personality-with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli
and
Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the
dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build
up
a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On
the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in
conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out
sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in bed together for
days.
The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know.

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - leucetios - 06-23-2005

anhil8tor Wrote:TAURUS (April 21 - May 21)
Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow
rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a
one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate
who
spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to
employers,
the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body
shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is
not
to say that the Bull is by any means a tee-todler...god, no. A
squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup,
some
would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when
intoxicated.

there is not enough alcohol in the northern hemisphere to get me into a karaoke bar >_>

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - haze - 06-23-2005

---------------They also
remember everything -- especially what you did when you were
blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.------------

I've learned how to make a living off of blackmail through this character trait.

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - SanDog - 06-23-2005

haze_e734oo2395168776 Wrote:---------------They also
remember everything -- especially what you did when you were
blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.------------

I've learned how to make a living off of blackmail through this character trait.

Yeah the basement rent at the parents must be killing you then.

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - Fairiedust - 06-23-2005

CAPRICORN (December 23 - January 20)
Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast,
money-hungry
and status-thirsty-no wonder they get left off the astrological
cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie
Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star:
independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to
please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you to
quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on
or
totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to
loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hook
up
with a cute groupie.


Your making this shit up...you missed the boat with this one...

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - Blondie - 06-23-2005

" I'm just a social drinker" slurs Libra....dammit.

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - Gadonkadonk Money Dawg - 06-23-2005

Quote:PISCES (February 20 - March 20)
With the right Pisces, you can start out
sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in bed together for
days.
The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know.


Whos down for some margaritas and fucking?

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - Odysseus - 06-23-2005

anhil8tor Wrote:ARIES (March 21 - April 20)


AQUARIUS (January 21 - February 19)
Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for
water,
that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and
if
they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain
or
a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing,
however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get
combative-and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case.
Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make
the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start
raising their wrist): Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and
capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers
while sober.

sounds about right

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - Fairiedust - 06-23-2005

Gadonkadonk Money Dawg Wrote:Whos down for some margaritas and fucking?


silly question...it's more like who isn't :lol:

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - angelicdemon - 06-23-2005

Quote:SAGITTARIUS (November 23 - December 22)
In vino verit as-and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When
buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own.
Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with.
This
is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the
sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole
Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then
persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else-like a
nightclub,
or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue
(including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous)

Yep, that's pretty much me.

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - angelicdemon - 06-23-2005

minus the tactless part.

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - PurpleHaze - 06-23-2005

ARIES (March 21 - April 20)

That sounds right on the $$$.

:wub:

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - angelicdemon - 06-23-2005

Aries and Sags get along grandly, apparently.

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - SanDog - 06-23-2005

PurpleHaze Wrote:ARIES (March 21 - April 20)

That sounds right on the $$$.

:wub:

You too, huh?

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - PurpleHaze - 06-23-2005

SanDog Wrote:You too, huh?
Yep. I've got 2 aries tats too.

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - leucetios - 06-23-2005

PurpleHaze Wrote:Yep. I've got 2 aries tats too.

sup hazey Smile I am going drinking, any tips?

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - angelicdemon - 06-23-2005

I wanna drinkkkkkkkk

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - PurpleHaze - 06-23-2005

leucetios Wrote:sup hazey Smile I am going drinking, any tips?

Boooo.

Knowing you, stick to beer. And you might want to alternate with water since it's an all day thing. Wink

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - PurpleHaze - 06-23-2005

Oh, and be sure to pm me once your home and drunk. Smile

IT horoscope 6/23/05 - angelicdemon - 06-23-2005

I used to hate beer, but once I got into University that changed fast.

It's amazing how cheap you get; beer is usually cheaper so that's what we got all the time.