post a true - Printable Version
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post a true - CT280 - 03-20-2007
story that tempted you to give up sex forever. this is birds chance to shine.
a chick that i went out with in high school liked ass play but had never done it. i was an amatuer at it too, but decided to give it a try. she lubed her asshole up and told me to take it slow, so i did. i didnt know she dropped a log a little while before, or at least i think she did. when i pulled my cock out, there was a brown ring around the the tip of my dick. apparently she didnt notice or care, because sucking my dick wasnt a problem for her because when she finished it was clean as a whistle. she didnt get kissed afterwards though.
post a true - Paddy - 03-20-2007
I got a cut on my foreskin. Lots of blood. I should have been circumsized.
post a true - Poppy - 03-20-2007
One night when I was in college, a guy I met at a bar decided it would be a good idea to go down on me the same day I finished my period. He was doing a shitty job anyway, but apparently there was a left over clot that didnt pass, and he got a mouthful of the brown gob. He spit it out on my stomach and threw up on the sheet so it soaked under my ass. I changed the sheets later, but you could never really get the smell of period blood and vomit out of the mattress after that.
post a true - Paddy - 03-20-2007
Sorry I posted between you guys.
post a true - Devious - 03-20-2007
Poppy Wrote:One night when I was in college, a guy I met at a bar decided it would be a good idea to go down on me the same day I finished my period. He was doing a shitty job anyway, but apparently there was a left over clot that didnt pass, and he got a mouthful of the brown gob. He spit it out on my stomach and threw up on the sheet so it soaked under my ass. I changed the sheets later, but you could never really get the smell of period blood and vomit out of the mattress after that.
I just threw up in my mouth... A little.... Thanks. :fuckYou:
post a true - Poppy - 03-20-2007
Devious Wrote:I just threw up in my mouth... A little.... Thanks. :fuckYou:
Just a little? Fuck.
post a true - Devious - 03-20-2007
Poppy Wrote:Just a little? Fuck.
Ya. Tiny bit .. (insertslimieforlittlebithere)
post a true - BIRD33 - 03-20-2007
I had the same thing happen to me that CT did.I almost threw up on her back and that was the last time I fucked her.
One time I was with this girl down at the beach in Delaware and we had her parents place to ourselves for the weekend and we were drinking hard.So we come back from the bar one afternoon and start going at it with a condom on.After a long time (thats right ladies) I notice that the condom has vanished.I'm like what the fuck so I tell her and she's alarmed so she goes into the bathroom to "look" for it.She comes back and says its in there but she can't get it out.So long story short I'm playing gynocologist(sp) with my hand up to my wrist fishing(yes thats hilarious) around her cooter for the rubber for almost 10 minutes.You'd think it would be hot to be doing that but at the time I felt ridiculous and disgusted all at the same time.Never found it and she had to go to her doctor to get it out.Totally ruined my weekend at the beach.
post a true - Flumper Barflusterbutt - 03-20-2007
BIRD33 Wrote:I had the same thing happen to me that CT did.I almost threw up on her back and that was the last time I fucked her.
One time I was with this girl down at the beach in Delaware and we had her parents place to ourselves for the weekend and we were drinking hard.So we come back from the bar one afternoon and start going at it with a condom on.After a long time (thats right ladies) I notice that the condom has vanished.I'm like what the fuck so I tell her and she's alarmed so she goes into the bathroom to "look" for it.She comes back and says its in there but she can't get it out.So long story short I'm playing gynocologist(sp) with my hand up to my wrist fishing(yes thats hilarious) around her cooter for the rubber for almost 10 minutes.You'd think it would be hot to be doing that but at the time I felt ridiculous and disgusted all at the same time.Never found it and she had to go to her doctor to get it out.Totally ruined my weekend at the beach.
Nice work pencil dick.
post a true - BIRD33 - 03-20-2007
Flumper Barflusterbutt Wrote:Nice work pencil dick.Magnums.
post a true - ntype - 03-20-2007
So I was there in amsterdam sitting in that cool bar listenning to really cool electro, smoking some a+ material with a few good beers in front of me.
Ok now I was in state like "hey that's cool, it's better than sex, at least I don't have to clean the room from all the blood"
post a true - Paddy - 03-20-2007
ntype Wrote:So I was there in amsterdam sitting in that cool bar listenning to really cool electro, smoking some a+ material with a few good beers in front of me.
Ok now I was in state like "hey that's cool, it's better than sex, at least I don't have to clean the room from all the blood"
If we could only get the other serial killers to go to The 'dam.
post a true - Devious - 03-20-2007
Flumper Barflusterbutt Wrote:Nice work pencil dick.My thoughts exactly.
ntype Wrote:So I was there in amsterdam sitting in that cool bar listenning to really cool electro, smoking some a+ material with a few good beers in front of me.
Ok now I was in state like "hey that's cool, it's better than sex, at least I don't have to clean the room from all the blood"
WHAT? :confused:
post a true - Flumper Barflusterbutt - 03-20-2007
One time me and some of my buddies got up this "water buffalo hunt". We each put in $20 to see who could fuck the ugliest chic in the place. Well, I go after this huge one. She's got cherry juice down the front of her sweatshirt from drinking out of the jar at the condiment station on the bar. She had a pack of cigarettes rolled up in her sleeve and a she was showing her friends how she could hold a cigarette in her double chin.
Anyway, I put the moves on her and get her back to my place. After a little work getting her stretch pants off, I start plowing the back forty. About three or four strokes in, I feel something unusual. I pull out and I have a used, wadded up condom stuck to the end of my dick. I have no idea where that came from.
post a true - Devious - 03-20-2007
Flumper Barflusterbutt Wrote:One time me and some of my buddies got up this "water buffalo hunt". We each put in $20 to see who could fuck the ugliest chic in the place. Well, I go after this huge one. She's got cherry juice down the front of her sweatshirt from drinking out of the jar at the condiment station on the bar. She had a pack of cigarettes rolled up in her sleeve and a she was showing her friends how she could hold a cigarette in her double chin.OOO I know... Bird33
Anyway, I put the moves on her and get her back to my place. After a little work getting her stretch pants off, I start plowing the back forty. About three or four strokes in, I feel something unusual. I pull out and I have a used, wadded up condom stuck to the end of my dick. I have no idea where that came from.
post a true - BIRD33 - 03-20-2007
Flumper Barflusterbutt Wrote:One time me and some of my buddies got up this "water buffalo hunt". We each put in $20 to see who could fuck the ugliest chic in the place. Well, I go after this huge one. She's got cherry juice down the front of her sweatshirt from drinking out of the jar at the condiment station on the bar. She had a pack of cigarettes rolled up in her sleeve and a she was showing her friends how she could hold a cigarette in her double chin.
Anyway, I put the moves on her and get her back to my place. After a little work getting her stretch pants off, I start plowing the back forty. About three or four strokes in, I feel something unusual. I pull out and I have a used, wadded up condom stuck to the end of my dick. I have no idea where that came from.
This can't be true.
post a true - Poppy - 03-20-2007
I was dating this guy many years ago. We used to go out drinking quite often. We drank a lot while we were together.
This one particular night, we get home, have the drunk sloppy sex and then we just roll over & sleep. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, still very drunk, and thinking I had got out of bed to the bathroom, I peed. Turns out, I ended up thinking he was the toilet & I straddled him on his belly & peed on him.
It wasnt bad enough to make me think of giving up sex, but weird anyway.
post a true - Blueeyedwoman - 03-20-2007
One time I decided to fuck this skinny nerd who thought he was really cool but was just a poser. Hell, I was horny. Anyway, mid way through the rubber disappears off his skinny dick and neither of us could find it.
I threw him out on his ass.
The next night I was hanging out at my local when this Michael Macdonald lookalike puts the moves on me. So I show him my cigarette trick and he looks at my ass with a gleam in his eye and says, "I hear the bigger the cushion, the better the cushion."
I kinda like that so I take him home and he gets to work when waddya know but he finds the condom! I was thrilled but it seemed like he couldn't get his pants on fast enough. He blew out muttering something I didn't understand about how he had to go "post this."
Go figure.
post a true - WoolyGoat - 03-20-2007
Poppy Wrote:I was dating this guy many years ago. We used to go out drinking quite often. We drank a lot while we were together.You're the kind of girl you really want to take home to meet mom and dad, huh?
This one particular night, we get home, have the drunk sloppy sex and then we just roll over & sleep. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, still very drunk, and thinking I had got out of bed to the bathroom, I peed. Turns out, I ended up thinking he was the toilet & I straddled him on his belly & peed on him.
It wasnt bad enough to make me think of giving up sex, but weird anyway.
post a true - what? - 03-20-2007
I came home early one night when I was in high school and saw my parents doing it ><