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nets to change name? - quint - 05-21-2010

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Mikhail-Prokhorov-might-rename-the-New-Jersey-Ne?urn=nba,242483


Mikhail Prokhorov fever is sweeping the nation, probably! There's a lot to love about a smirking, joking, 6-foot-8 Russian who made his first fortune by selling stonewashed jeans then decided to buy the New Jersey Nets because he had a spare $500 million.

Even though he couldn't keep the Nets from falling to the third pick in the draft, Prokhorov's first United States media tour has been pretty impressive. Whether it be pledging a championship within five seasons or declaring his intention to turn the Nets into the first truly global team in the NBA, Prokhorov has talked a pretty good game. But, as Julian Garcia of the New York Daily News mentions, we might not be talking about the Nets very much longer.

"Let me ask you some questions," Prokhorov said to a small group of reporters during a private brunch meeting at the Four Seasons Hotel in Manhattan. "What about the name of the team? Is it okay, the Nets? Or do we have to try to find something new?

"I'm a foreigner, you know," he said. "I need your piece of advice. I can put Russian name and nobody knows what it is. I can put the name of a girlfriend and every time I change, I need to change the name of the team."


On one hand, nice zings by everyone's new favorite owner, especially the girlfriend part. Pretty funny. On the other, I don't want this to open the door for Russians to buy all of the American sport teams and change their names. Perhaps we should draft controversial legislation that will ban European billionaires from buying American sports franchises and then have NBA teams protest that legislation with awkwardly worded jerseys. That's just a totally random suggestion, though.

However, if Prokhorov is really serious about changing the Nets' name, he's going to need a hand. If you've caught any of his interviews in the past week, you know that English is not his first language, so I think it would be nice of us to help him navigate the ins and outs of effective team naming. Between these very good suggestions and those of The Baseline's Eric Freeman, Prokhorov will have a great jumping-off point if he ever renames the team.

• New Jersey Nyets: Surely this is the first time this name has ever been suggested.

• New Jersey Stonewashed Jeans: Not only does it reference Prokhorov's first success, it also shouts out the state's pants of choice.

• New Jersey Keithvanhorns: It would be nice to honor the greatest player in team history.

• Brooklyn New Jerseys: This is kind of complicated. First the Nets would have to secure their move to Brooklyn, which would take care of the first part. Then, because they would need to buy new jerseys, they would just become the New Jerseys. It might be confusing, but it would also be very literal, which helps when acquiring a second language.

• New Jersey Bobcats: It might be available and makes just as much sense in New Jersey as in North Carolina.

• New Jersey Foulkiis: No, that's not the Russian word for foul, but rather the state's official dinosaur, the Hadrosaurus foulkii. In other news, New Jersey has an official dinosaur, but not song, even though Bruce Springsteen helped establish the state in 1787. Weird.

As you can see, there are a wealth of different choices that would be excellent names for the franchise. Sure, the team might lose a little of its identity with a name change, but following a 70-loss season that might be OK. As always, your suggestions are welcomed in the comments. The big Russian needs our help.

nets to change name? - Jimmy - 05-21-2010

In Soviet Russia, name changes you.

nets to change name? - WoolyGoat - 05-21-2010

i like the "nyets"

nets to change name? - quint - 05-21-2010

good one wooly
think they have a shot at lebron?
will allen stay in boston?

nets to change name? - WoolyGoat - 05-22-2010

it was in the article you posted (and clearly read) dumbass, I didn't make it up.

I think they're in the running for LeBron, but on the outside.

Tony or Ray?

nets to change name? - quint - 05-22-2010

it was sarcasm
dont be upity because the bruins choked
and ray

nets to change name? - quint - 05-22-2010

oh and the phils just beat the sox

nets to change name? - WoolyGoat - 05-22-2010

I think Ray will be back, depending on what he wants for $. Considering the type of player he is, I think he's got a handful of valuable, not superstar, years left.

nets to change name? - quint - 05-22-2010

here's a list of free agents 2010 and 2011
sixers have to live with sammy for another year

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?page=FreeAgents-10-11

nets to change name? - BIRD33 - 05-22-2010

Sixers hire doug collins because he's a disciplinarian.Great.Who cares he sucked at his last two jobs.Our biggest need is a guy who will fine some lazy haitian for not showing up to practice on time.Ok.Collins will be better then Jordan but if he lasts 3 years I'll be shocked.

So if we take Evan Turner we will have 3 guys playing small forward in Igudala, Thad Young and Turner.Awesome!Somebodies got to go and I don't want it to be Thaddeus or Turner but Iggy's getting paid like a franchise players because our GM is a fucking idiot.

Speaking of the GM being an idiot.I'm hearing the sixers are floating the #2 pick as trade bait but the other team has to take elton brand's 3 year 51 million contract.Thank god the team got the #2 pick so the GM could try to rectify a horrible mistake he made.He should still have a job I guess.