You are what you drink! - Printable Version

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You are what you drink! - Hambone - 05-15-2004

Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify personality on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

WOMEN
Drink: Beer. Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella. Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy,
and a pain in the ass. Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas. Personality: Mature, has picky taste;
knows what she wants. Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask) Personality: Conservative and
classy, sophisticated. Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into
conversation.

Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc.. Personality: Easy;
thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

Drink: Baileys. Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart. Approach:
Stand
close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Drink: Shots (Vodka, Aftershock etc.). Personality: Hanging with male pals
or looking to get drunk... and naked. Approach: Easiest hit in the pub.
Nothing to do but wait.

MEN - As always, very simple and clear cut.

Cider: He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor/student and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Bitter: He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image
and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate
to get laid.

Port: Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky: He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who
will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about
feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into
getting laid.

Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc: Gay.

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You are what you drink! - Devious - 05-15-2004

Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid. . :blink:

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You are what you drink! - Velvet - 05-15-2004

Beer and mixed drinks .. guess thats a good thing

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