Jokes that Velvet will Hate - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Jokes that Velvet will Hate (/showthread.php?tid=8679)

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Jokes that Velvet will Hate - CodeWarrior - 07-31-2004

Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be e! qual to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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Jokes that Velvet will Hate - Undeadcannibal - 07-31-2004

velvets gonna be pissed.

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Jokes that Velvet will Hate - Velvet - 07-31-2004

puts AW's name on the list of people to punnish :dev: :lmf:

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Jokes that Velvet will Hate - Bonkyboy - 07-31-2004

Quote:Originally posted by Alienware@Jul 30 2004, 08:18 PM
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

no shit. :"::

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Jokes that Velvet will Hate - birkbott - 07-31-2004

Quote:Originally posted by Bonkyboy+Jul 31 2004, 06:38 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Bonkyboy @ Jul 31 2004, 06:38 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'> <!--QuoteBegin-Alienware@Jul 30 2004, 08:18 PM
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

no shit. :":: [/b][/quote]
Bonky, you motherfucker.

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Jokes that Velvet will Hate - CodeWarrior - 07-31-2004

Quote:Originally posted by velvet@Jul 31 2004, 01:33 AM
puts AW's name on the list of people to punnish :dev: :lmf:

I knew you'd like it

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Jokes that Velvet will Hate - Bonkyboy - 07-31-2004

Quote:Originally posted by birkbott+Jul 30 2004, 11:35 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(birkbott @ Jul 30 2004, 11:35 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'>

Quote:Originally posted by Bonkyboy@Jul 31 2004, 06:38 AM
<!--QuoteBegin-Alienware@Jul 30 2004, 08:18 PM
[b] -------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

no shit. :":: [/b]

Bonky, you motherfucker. [/b][/quote]
She hasn't complained yet.

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Jokes that Velvet will Hate - Velvet - 07-31-2004

Quote:Originally posted by Alienware+Jul 31 2004, 04:38 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Alienware @ Jul 31 2004, 04:38 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'> <!--QuoteBegin-velvet@Jul 31 2004, 01:33 AM
puts AW's name on the list of people to punnish :dev: :lmf:

I knew you'd like it [/b][/quote]
You know me to well

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Jokes that Velvet will Hate - lad - 08-01-2004

Quote:Originally posted by Alienware@Jul 31 2004, 04:18 AM
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

:dev: nice i can start fucking the neighbours cute sister after we're married :op:

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