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Dear Fermundacheese, aka Whpppsh, aka Larry,
Please stop using me so frequently. I am tired as hell. Give me a bloody rest for a bit.
Sincerely,
Your overused two-cents
Son, I am Disappoint.
JDUB,
Quit showing me off to all the fellas here at IT. It's just creepy!
Sin,
Yer Cack
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Dear Ann Landers,
This punk named Tribal Dragon was making fun of bald people today at the web forum I live at. I tried contacting dairyman, a moderator there, to let him know that TD was making fun of people but I didn't get a response yet. I've called his cell phone 4 times, I sent him 3 emails, and I paged him twice. Please let me know what I should do--I want to tattle on TD but I'm running out of options to get in touch with dairy. I need your help soon!
Sincerely,
Desperate in By God Carolina
BIRD33 Wrote:Im guessing BEW's vag loks like a hotdog that exploded in the microwave.
Dear Stoney,
Please cease and desist sending us photographs of your nude body. We are no longer accepting girls for our ,"chicks we'd do only with beer goggles on" contest.
Sincerely,
Consumptionjunction.com Staff
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Dear Vanilla Ice,
I don't unnerstand. I had all of the rap lingo down. I listened to all of your records, well I listened to your record anyway. Why is TomFoolery dissin' me, man?
I am gonno go listen to Ice Ice Baby and chill with my homies. Can you please help me with his bitchass? Please?
Peace Out,
B-rap.
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Dear Hammer,
Get your fat ass off the couch and do some work around the trailor. Betty-Joe, Bobby-Sue, Cletus, Billy-ray, Tammy-Sue, and Hammer JR., haven't had a nice sit down meal in months. I brought home some nice T.V. dinners. Would it kill you to heat them up in the microwave, or is that too complicated for you?
And to think I could of married that used car salesmen with that doublewide, and functional penis!
Sincerly,
Mrs. Hammer
Son, I am Disappoint.
Yo asshut,
You want to bring the pain, so this thang 'bout to set off
I'm here crackas; take your best shot
Barretas for getting cheddar, you're better off dead off
Yes, B-Rap's gonna gonna do it, cut your fuckin head off
Let me blast so I can roam, dig your graves whilee pissing on your stone.
I'm the ever loving nigga comin your way like a badass Escalade.
it's on & it's never gonna stop; I'm your worse muthfuckin nightmare, I'm yr mother lover, the B-rap pimpin foot kickin nigga in your mama's house.
praise my ebony magnificence
Sincerely
B-rap
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You rhymed shit with shit, I'm impressed.
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Quote:Originally posted by Sarng@Sep 30 2004, 12:21 PM
Dear VitaminE,
I wish you the best in your anger management classes and hope that anal fixation clears up. You are a dear.
Toodle-oo,
chickychick.
[snapback]80560[/snapback]
hey, i never knew sarng was around here then, i was gone for three weeks
gonna have to do a search and see what he was up to while i was not here
:rant:
:roll:
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.
Thomas Merton
Hi, Pepsi
How are you? How is that flesh-eating parasite that infected your brain? Has it starved to death yet? Anyway, let's dispense with social pleasantries: Take a chair; face the blackboard, and pay attention while I explain the 'Theory Of Why You Are A Pitiful Fuckweasel' to you. After reading your inept missive, I can't decide if syntax, logic, or control of your bowels is your weakest skill. You seem to excel in areas requiring dazzling ineptitude. Perhaps you should run for US President? (Although I doubt many would take a passive-aggressive dwarf hunchback in a wheelchair handing out 'Fuckweasel For President' pamphlets seriously. Insanity doesn't just run in your family, it does the decathlon and heptathlon at Olympic level. Contrary to your impudent assertion, you slanderous blackguard, I have painstakingly analysed all of the problems submitted to me by hordes of hapless and woebegone plebeians and answered each one with a magnitude of profound empathy, wisdom and human compassion worthy of recognition by a Nobel Peace Prize. While it is appropriate that you should be envious of my superlative self, I suggest that you moderate the severity of the querulous and begrudging nature of your crux idée fixe, lest it lax your fingertip grip on reality and send you plunging into an abyss of irreversible lunacy. Lord knows, you're already halfway there.
I hope this helps,
God
Dear It Members,
My advice is to think about what you want to type before you type; and then, don't bother typing it.
I hope this helps,
Sin,
7
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