05-21-2004, 05:04 PM
You Have Been Warned
====================
In 1997, Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch (M-LAW) began a contest to
expose how frivolous lawsuits, and a concern about potential
frivolous lawsuits, have led to a new cultural phenomenon:
the wacky warning label.
You have probably heard about the lawsuit over a spilled cup of
coffee. However, there are many other silly lawsuits involving
products that have received far less attention. For example,
did you know a man received $50,000 when he sued a small company
that makes basketball nets because he claimed the company was
responsible when he caught his teeth in a net while dunking a
ball? People who make products hear about these outrageous
lawsuits, and they often decide to slap common sense warnings on
their product... "just in case."
Over the years, M-LAW has received hundreds of warning labels
from people around the world. M-LAW verifies the authenticity
of each label and selects the "Top 5" for each year.
Following is a list of some of the best labels from the first
five contests:
A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions:
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user to
"Remove child before folding"
A prescription of sleeping pills says,
"Warning: May cause drowsiness
A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor,
Michigan actually warns:
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
A massage chair warns: "DO NOT use massage chair without
clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest
area while the rollers are moving."
A snowblower warns: "Do not use snowthrower on roof.²"
A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to
play in the dishwasher."
A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the
Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions,
"Do not use near fire, flame or sparks"
A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use
"while sleeping or unconscious"
A container of underarm deodorant says,
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes"
A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner"
A household iron warns users:
"Never iron clothes while they are being worn"
A label with a hair dryer reads,
"Never use hair dryer while sleeping"
A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns:
"Not intended for highway use"
A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard
warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place"
A Bathroom Heater says:
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms"
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users:
"May irritate eyes"
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists
says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not
cover."
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns:
"Caution - Risk of Fire"
A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear
plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a
body cavity.
====================
In 1997, Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch (M-LAW) began a contest to
expose how frivolous lawsuits, and a concern about potential
frivolous lawsuits, have led to a new cultural phenomenon:
the wacky warning label.
You have probably heard about the lawsuit over a spilled cup of
coffee. However, there are many other silly lawsuits involving
products that have received far less attention. For example,
did you know a man received $50,000 when he sued a small company
that makes basketball nets because he claimed the company was
responsible when he caught his teeth in a net while dunking a
ball? People who make products hear about these outrageous
lawsuits, and they often decide to slap common sense warnings on
their product... "just in case."
Over the years, M-LAW has received hundreds of warning labels
from people around the world. M-LAW verifies the authenticity
of each label and selects the "Top 5" for each year.
Following is a list of some of the best labels from the first
five contests:
A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions:
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user to
"Remove child before folding"
A prescription of sleeping pills says,
"Warning: May cause drowsiness
A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor,
Michigan actually warns:
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
A massage chair warns: "DO NOT use massage chair without
clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest
area while the rollers are moving."
A snowblower warns: "Do not use snowthrower on roof.²"
A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to
play in the dishwasher."
A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the
Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions,
"Do not use near fire, flame or sparks"
A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use
"while sleeping or unconscious"
A container of underarm deodorant says,
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes"
A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner"
A household iron warns users:
"Never iron clothes while they are being worn"
A label with a hair dryer reads,
"Never use hair dryer while sleeping"
A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns:
"Not intended for highway use"
A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard
warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place"
A Bathroom Heater says:
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms"
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users:
"May irritate eyes"
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists
says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not
cover."
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns:
"Caution - Risk of Fire"
A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear
plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a
body cavity.
I am trying to see things from your perspective....But I can't get my head that far up my ass!
Remember - The TOES you step on today maybe attached to the ASS you have to kiss tomorrow.

