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Had to buy a Secret Santa gift for my boss. As I was walking toward Sears to get the gift wrapped, this fucking asshole runs into my left ankle with a dolly. Turns out it's a UPS driver. Dude doesn't apologize.
I proceeded to audibly collect spit, snot, and whatever else was up my nose, and I hacked that shit all over his back as I walked him down outside Spencer Gifts. If the dude wasn't only 5'7" I probably wouldn't have done it, but that's beside the point.
Him: What the fuck?
Me: Dude, you just ran into my fucking ankle with your handcart!
Him: I didn't see you!
Me: Doesn't mean you didn't do it. That snot on your back is a token of my appreciation.
Him: You're a fuckin' asshole.
Me: Yeah, I know.
BIRD33 Wrote:Im guessing BEW's vag loks like a hotdog that exploded in the microwave.
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you should have punched that little fucking brown attired candy assed bitch in the sack. i hate UPS. fuckers.
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no, really, tell us how you really feel
looking for someone to "
take care" of my ex
Quote:
Originally Posted by
VitaminE
Never get caught with a dead girl or a live boy!, That's Vit E's moto
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fem
I enjoy being a dumb cunt. Thanks.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v105/b...aphic2.jpg
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As soon as he ran into my ankle I thought of CT280. Then I thought of IT. Then I thought, "What would Ass Vomit Do?". That's when I blew my nose on his back.
BIRD33 Wrote:Im guessing BEW's vag loks like a hotdog that exploded in the microwave.
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so what did you buy your boss?
I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours
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Fitted Cubs hat and a 1/2 lb. of Cashews from Buddy Squirrel.
BIRD33 Wrote:Im guessing BEW's vag loks like a hotdog that exploded in the microwave.
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Ass Vomit Wrote:Fitted Cubs hat and a 1/2 lb. of Cashews from Buddy Squirrel.
Cashews are like crack man...once i eat one i can't stop. i love nuts! <----possible sig
I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours
Was is pussy fest in Millwaukee?
Getting run over and getting spit on, both get you the winning ticket in the ass kick lottery. Niether one of you threw a punch!?!?! That's just disappointing!
Tom if we were ever to meet, I'd run your ass over, purely on principle.
fuck that noise, Bill would have knocked his ass out, duct taped him to his cart, and either rolled him into traffic or shipped him to VitE.
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Bill Wrote:fuck that noise, Bill would have knocked his ass out, duct taped him to his cart, and either rolled him into traffic or shipped him to VitE.
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Who said I had to make sense ?
I am now. Sassy? when we gonna see you nekkid?
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was he wearing those cute little brown short shorts?
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Purple_Haze Wrote:Thanks!
And if this is a true story, that's pretty hot. For some reason I dig bad guys. It sucks.
2nd.
I demand the world but offer nothing in return.
![[Image: ups.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v615/cameltoe280/ups.jpg)
![[Image: boston.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v314/FattyJ16/boston.jpg)
![[Image: line.gif]](http://www.goranot.com/jokes/line.gif)
