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Pickup Lines that might get you killed
#1

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

Your parents must be retarded, because you are special

Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."
Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.

Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

I am trying to see things from your perspective....But I can't get my head that far up my ass!


Remember - The TOES you step on today maybe attached to the ASS you have to kiss tomorrow.

[Image: ac5586cf78c9d9fecf8819bdd377a0a4.jpg]
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#2

I have some!

"Is your car running? Because I have syphilis."

"Are your legs tired? Because I have malignant melanoma."

"Are you a thief? Because once I slammed my penis in the window."

"Are you an angel? Because I never lived in a house."
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#3

Zanuff Wrote:I have some!

"Is your car running? Because I have syphilis."

"Are your legs tired? Because I have malignant melanoma."

"Are you a thief? Because once I slammed my penis in the window."

"Are you an angel? Because I never lived in a house."
That's nice.
I have
a birthday on 2001.
Is my car running?
What if I say no? That makes sense to me.
Interesting...
I have
a perfect operational record.
My body is still "under construction".Good reason.
That's nice.
I have
a operating system.
Am I a thief?
Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.That makes sense to me.
When? I haven't heard anything like that before:
said slammed your penis in the window.
Yes I am an angel. How did you know?That makes sense to me.
Where do you live?

Who said I had to make sense ?
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#4

Wow...I don't see how you ge that many comments on four pick-up lines...
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