01-19-2005, 05:42 PM
Memo to Superintendent: Hit cow. Mileage 123. Engine O.K. Cow dead.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: Your report as to the demise of a bovine creature is at hand. You are hereby advised that a further report is to be submitted as per the example on Circular B S/15/16789. Please forward promptly.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: No more to say. Engine still O.K. Cow still dead.
Engine Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: Your unsatisfactory report is to hand. Your attention is again drawn to Circular B S/15/16789 which sets out the following questionnaire. What was the boiler pressure at the time of the incident? Was sand gear working? Was throttle fully open? What was position of cut-off lever? Was brake applied? What was nature of weather and direction of wind? What was the name of fireman and brakeman? What was the nature of the injury to the creature? Give description of creature: age, sex, type, markings, etc. What was your assessment of damages claimable by this office? Advise immediately of these particulars.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: No steam. Yes. No. None. Yes. Cow not killed by weather, wind, fireman or brakeman. Not enough left of cow to find out the rest.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: Your further unsatisfactory memo is at this office. You are forthwith to explain why your locomotive was not under steam at the time of the incident and also why it is not equipped with the standard steam cut-off lever. For prompt and full report.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: Driving diesel engine. Needs no steam. Has no cut-off lever.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: This office still awaits your full report as to how the creature was killed by your locomotive. For urgent and immediate return to this office.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: Saw cow walking over line. Engine weaved to left to miss cow. Cow kept walking. Engine hit cow.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: You are hereby fined $3.00 for insolence. Please advise the nature of the injury to the creature without further delay.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: Went to where cow killed. Cow is definitely dead. This cost me $3.00 expenses.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: Herewith find special payroll No. L80/247 to be signed in duplicate for $3.00 expenses as claimed. This correspondence is now closed.
Superintendent.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: Your report as to the demise of a bovine creature is at hand. You are hereby advised that a further report is to be submitted as per the example on Circular B S/15/16789. Please forward promptly.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: No more to say. Engine still O.K. Cow still dead.
Engine Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: Your unsatisfactory report is to hand. Your attention is again drawn to Circular B S/15/16789 which sets out the following questionnaire. What was the boiler pressure at the time of the incident? Was sand gear working? Was throttle fully open? What was position of cut-off lever? Was brake applied? What was nature of weather and direction of wind? What was the name of fireman and brakeman? What was the nature of the injury to the creature? Give description of creature: age, sex, type, markings, etc. What was your assessment of damages claimable by this office? Advise immediately of these particulars.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: No steam. Yes. No. None. Yes. Cow not killed by weather, wind, fireman or brakeman. Not enough left of cow to find out the rest.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: Your further unsatisfactory memo is at this office. You are forthwith to explain why your locomotive was not under steam at the time of the incident and also why it is not equipped with the standard steam cut-off lever. For prompt and full report.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: Driving diesel engine. Needs no steam. Has no cut-off lever.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: This office still awaits your full report as to how the creature was killed by your locomotive. For urgent and immediate return to this office.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: Saw cow walking over line. Engine weaved to left to miss cow. Cow kept walking. Engine hit cow.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: You are hereby fined $3.00 for insolence. Please advise the nature of the injury to the creature without further delay.
Superintendent.
Memo to Superintendent: Went to where cow killed. Cow is definitely dead. This cost me $3.00 expenses.
Engineer Murphy.
Memo to Engineer Murphy: Herewith find special payroll No. L80/247 to be signed in duplicate for $3.00 expenses as claimed. This correspondence is now closed.
Superintendent.