08-23-2005, 10:44 PM
It seems the time has come when my daughter is going to start "dating". She is still much too young, but her mother insists that it is okay. She is eleven years old right now and the boy that she is interested in is twelve. Now their date is going to be chauffered by his mother and she will be with them to go for pizza and the movies, but in my book its a date still.
So, I felt it was prudent that I have a little conversation with "Kevin". He lives in our neighborhood and seems to be a nice boy. He has been around the house a few times to swim and ride bikes. But actually taking my daughter on a date seems to have made cause for our relationship to elevate a bit. So, this past week-end Kevin was at our house and I invited him to go with me for a ride in my pickup.
Once in the truck, I felt that it was important that Kevin realize the significance of our little get-to-gether. Since I have always felt that firearms bring a certain tone of clarity to a discussion, so I reached under the seat and pulled out a .38 cal pistol and laid it on the seat between us. After about 10 minute of silent driving, I began to speak to my little friend.
Flumper: Now, Kevin, there are many things in my life that I feel are important. But of all those things, I would have to say that my daughter is the most important thing to me. Why, I would probably do anything necessary to protect her. Do you understand what I am saying, Kevin?
Kevin: (nods)
Flumper: Good. Now it has recently come to my attention that my daughter wants to go on a date with you. And that presents me with quite a different situation. My daughter, apparently, is asking that I trust you to protect her instead of me during the time that you are escorting her on this date. And for the life of me, I can't think of one good god damn reason to want to do that. Can you Kevin?
Kevin: (shrugs)
Flumper: So, I felt that it was important that we get to know at little about each other. Now, Kevin, do you think that I would allow my daughter to consume alcoholic beverages?
Kevin:
Flumper: Speak up boy, I can't hear you!
Kevin: No.
Flumper: No......??
Kevin: No, sir?
Flumper: Okay. Do you think that I would allow my daughter to ride in a vehicle with someone that had consumed alcoholic beverages?
Kevin: No sir.
Flumper: Do you smoke pot Kevin?
Kevin: No sir.
Flumper: (adjusting pistol on seat). Do you think that I would allow a boy to touch my daughter inappropriately?
Kevin: No sir.
Flumper: (looks at Kevin) What was that?
Kevin: NO SIR!
Flumper: Now Kevin, I guess you are wondering if there are any bullets in that gun on the seat, aren't you?
Kevin: (looks at gun)
Flumper: Well, as long as everything goes okay on this date, then we won't have to find that out, now will we?
Kevin: (looks out the window)
Flumper: (pulls into the driveway). Now, you see Kevin, this was nice. The two of us getting to know each other a little better. These are the kind of conversations that we don't talk about to anyone, right? Now you run on and have a good time.
-----------------
Discuss.
So, I felt it was prudent that I have a little conversation with "Kevin". He lives in our neighborhood and seems to be a nice boy. He has been around the house a few times to swim and ride bikes. But actually taking my daughter on a date seems to have made cause for our relationship to elevate a bit. So, this past week-end Kevin was at our house and I invited him to go with me for a ride in my pickup.
Once in the truck, I felt that it was important that Kevin realize the significance of our little get-to-gether. Since I have always felt that firearms bring a certain tone of clarity to a discussion, so I reached under the seat and pulled out a .38 cal pistol and laid it on the seat between us. After about 10 minute of silent driving, I began to speak to my little friend.
Flumper: Now, Kevin, there are many things in my life that I feel are important. But of all those things, I would have to say that my daughter is the most important thing to me. Why, I would probably do anything necessary to protect her. Do you understand what I am saying, Kevin?
Kevin: (nods)
Flumper: Good. Now it has recently come to my attention that my daughter wants to go on a date with you. And that presents me with quite a different situation. My daughter, apparently, is asking that I trust you to protect her instead of me during the time that you are escorting her on this date. And for the life of me, I can't think of one good god damn reason to want to do that. Can you Kevin?
Kevin: (shrugs)
Flumper: So, I felt that it was important that we get to know at little about each other. Now, Kevin, do you think that I would allow my daughter to consume alcoholic beverages?
Kevin:
Flumper: Speak up boy, I can't hear you!
Kevin: No.
Flumper: No......??
Kevin: No, sir?
Flumper: Okay. Do you think that I would allow my daughter to ride in a vehicle with someone that had consumed alcoholic beverages?
Kevin: No sir.
Flumper: Do you smoke pot Kevin?
Kevin: No sir.
Flumper: (adjusting pistol on seat). Do you think that I would allow a boy to touch my daughter inappropriately?
Kevin: No sir.
Flumper: (looks at Kevin) What was that?
Kevin: NO SIR!
Flumper: Now Kevin, I guess you are wondering if there are any bullets in that gun on the seat, aren't you?
Kevin: (looks at gun)
Flumper: Well, as long as everything goes okay on this date, then we won't have to find that out, now will we?
Kevin: (looks out the window)
Flumper: (pulls into the driveway). Now, you see Kevin, this was nice. The two of us getting to know each other a little better. These are the kind of conversations that we don't talk about to anyone, right? Now you run on and have a good time.
-----------------
Discuss.
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