03-27-2006, 03:05 PM
I'll hold the contest open till the end of April, to allow those disaffected IT surfers to find this page. The winner will receive a T-shirt and oral sex from Lee (BEW, here is your chance). Be sure to submit your story with a real email address and contact info so that we can send you the prize if we decide your story wins.
RULES:
1. It has to be printable (I'm looking for Porn - I'm looking for funny, embarrassing or otherwise hilarious stories of sex gone wrong.)
2. It has to be about consensual sex - no rape stories please.
3. It has to be original - don't send someone else's story or something you read somewhere on the web.
4. By submitting, you are granting ITC full rights to use the story however we please
5. It is the sole discretion of the Judges to decide the winner.
To start things off, I'll post one of my own...
ITC's Story....
I went through a phase where I was more interested in a guy's intellect than his appearance. (Fortunately, I outgrew that fairly quickly)... Lee and I met when we were dancing one night, as it turned out; we went to the same regatta that summer. He wasnât good looking - Finnish/Swedish blend, and not very attractive. He could dance, but not so well, dressed like a 10 year old, and *seemed* to be reasonably intelligent. I was rather naive - I had only had 30 other serious boyfriends before, so I overlooked the excessive clumsiness, the dirty white running shoes, the always-a-hair-out-of-place coif, and the constantly-having-to-check-himself-out-in-the-mirror thing. (I told you I was STUPID!).
After a few days of dating, we came to a point where we decided to have sex. I wasn't a virgin, so I had SOME idea what sex was like and what I would enjoy. He shared a studio apartment with five other guys, but that day they were gone and we figured this would be the perfect opportunity. To say that the guy was an utter disappointment would be an understatement.
He was so small; he had to HOLD the condom on the entire time (which was about 2 or 3 minutes, I think). Talk about awkward! I could barely feel ANYTHING except his hand getting in the way and the discomfort of it. He fucked like he had read a manual on sex but had never tried it out for real before. It was all technique - tweak here, lick there, thrust that, but no sense of him actually enjoying it. He cranked at my breasts like he was trying to tune in a radio or crack a safe. When we actually had sex he was bouncing around, so much he was practically banging his ass on the ceiling. I asked him several times to slow down, aiming for a nice sensual shag, but no: thrust, bounce, thrust, bounce ad nausea. At one point, the words went through my mind, "And what exactly are you trying to do there?" It certainly didnât work for me. There was no way I was going to cum, and no way I was going to fake it to flatter his ego. I asked him to stop, got dressed, and went home He never went down on me, yet acted like the whole process was too messy for him. He was so ineffective it made my skin crawl.
My naïve, mind was actually feeling GUILTY that I wanted to dump the guy because the sex was bad. Ok, it wasn't just bad - it was abysmal.
The last time we had sex we had some foreplay ensued, semi-clumsy as always. I gave him oral sex, which he loved, and much to my surprise, he suddenly decided to try it on me. The first time in our almost 2-year relationship that heâs tried this. (The manâs gag reflexes are so sensitive; he gagged himself brushing his teeth). Needless to say, after a few minutes of him gagging and fumbling all over my female bits, I got him to stop. By then, he was ready to go again for sex. Sadly, it was the usual way, me on top and making him lie still. Thank God, I know how to get myself off.
Uh yeah.he is still around..
RULES:
1. It has to be printable (I'm looking for Porn - I'm looking for funny, embarrassing or otherwise hilarious stories of sex gone wrong.)
2. It has to be about consensual sex - no rape stories please.
3. It has to be original - don't send someone else's story or something you read somewhere on the web.
4. By submitting, you are granting ITC full rights to use the story however we please
5. It is the sole discretion of the Judges to decide the winner.
To start things off, I'll post one of my own...
ITC's Story....
I went through a phase where I was more interested in a guy's intellect than his appearance. (Fortunately, I outgrew that fairly quickly)... Lee and I met when we were dancing one night, as it turned out; we went to the same regatta that summer. He wasnât good looking - Finnish/Swedish blend, and not very attractive. He could dance, but not so well, dressed like a 10 year old, and *seemed* to be reasonably intelligent. I was rather naive - I had only had 30 other serious boyfriends before, so I overlooked the excessive clumsiness, the dirty white running shoes, the always-a-hair-out-of-place coif, and the constantly-having-to-check-himself-out-in-the-mirror thing. (I told you I was STUPID!).
After a few days of dating, we came to a point where we decided to have sex. I wasn't a virgin, so I had SOME idea what sex was like and what I would enjoy. He shared a studio apartment with five other guys, but that day they were gone and we figured this would be the perfect opportunity. To say that the guy was an utter disappointment would be an understatement.
He was so small; he had to HOLD the condom on the entire time (which was about 2 or 3 minutes, I think). Talk about awkward! I could barely feel ANYTHING except his hand getting in the way and the discomfort of it. He fucked like he had read a manual on sex but had never tried it out for real before. It was all technique - tweak here, lick there, thrust that, but no sense of him actually enjoying it. He cranked at my breasts like he was trying to tune in a radio or crack a safe. When we actually had sex he was bouncing around, so much he was practically banging his ass on the ceiling. I asked him several times to slow down, aiming for a nice sensual shag, but no: thrust, bounce, thrust, bounce ad nausea. At one point, the words went through my mind, "And what exactly are you trying to do there?" It certainly didnât work for me. There was no way I was going to cum, and no way I was going to fake it to flatter his ego. I asked him to stop, got dressed, and went home He never went down on me, yet acted like the whole process was too messy for him. He was so ineffective it made my skin crawl.
My naïve, mind was actually feeling GUILTY that I wanted to dump the guy because the sex was bad. Ok, it wasn't just bad - it was abysmal.
The last time we had sex we had some foreplay ensued, semi-clumsy as always. I gave him oral sex, which he loved, and much to my surprise, he suddenly decided to try it on me. The first time in our almost 2-year relationship that heâs tried this. (The manâs gag reflexes are so sensitive; he gagged himself brushing his teeth). Needless to say, after a few minutes of him gagging and fumbling all over my female bits, I got him to stop. By then, he was ready to go again for sex. Sadly, it was the usual way, me on top and making him lie still. Thank God, I know how to get myself off.
Uh yeah.he is still around..
I'd rather be despised for my character than liked for my lack of it.
I may be many things, but I am no man's consolation prize.
Sometimes a big dick is just that!
My dear, I have just kicked more ass than you have sat on
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for..
Here's the thing: If you ever get me, you wouldn't have a clue what to do with me
To err is dysfunctional, to forgive co-dependent.
![[Image: boston.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v314/FattyJ16/boston.jpg)
cratch: I guess his dick was just small. That's the only similarity, but I am too lazy to type it.
