I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - Printable Version

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I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - TomFoolery - 12-01-2004

I just don't feel like typing it all up SaladTosser style. Here it is in a nutshell:

Last year I was really horny so I called my girlfriend up to come over to fuck. She wasn't even in the damn door and I already had half of her clothes off and I was carrying her upstairs to the bedroom.

I was fucking her so damn hard it would have made John Holmes look like a scared virgin in comparison. That's when it happened...she stopped screaming and said,

"Dude...I think you just fucked the shit out of me".

"What the fuck does that mean?"

*She reaches down to check*

"Yup, you did."

I threw her off of me, turned on the light, and saw my cock and balls covered in a light brown hue. I threw up on the floor, then ran downstairs and hopped in the shower right away. When I got out she was crying uncontrolably while putting my bedsheets in the washer.

"I don't understand, I pooped like 1/2 hour before I got here".

"Don't worry about it, even though it is by far the grossest thing that has ever happened to me."

"You're not mad, are you? *sniff*"

"Not really."

I played XBox the rest of the night, I think the only words I said to her were "get me another beer please".

We broke up 2 days later.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - asshat - 12-01-2004

bump.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - cLaY - 12-01-2004

^^^ fucked up BIG time ^^^

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - Banana - 12-01-2004

cLaY Wrote:^^^ fucked up BIG time ^^^

Was this the story?

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - asshat - 12-01-2004

Banana Wrote:Was this the story?

I don't think so.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - TomFoolery - 12-01-2004

Banana Wrote:Was this the story?

Yes, but not nearly as descriptive and funny as I would have liked. This place was slow this morning so I figured it needed to be posted.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - Banana - 12-01-2004

True story?

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - VitaminE - 12-01-2004

RACK you TF!

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - PurpleHaze - 12-01-2004

That's gross Tom.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - Banana - 12-01-2004

Please now post a thread about how you felt when no one cared about your story.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - cLaY - 12-01-2004

good story shit dick, would have been RACKable SaladTosser style

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - TomFoolery - 12-01-2004

Banana Wrote:True story?

100% true

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - PurpleHaze - 12-01-2004

Banana Wrote:Please now post a thread about how you felt when no one cared about your story.

TomFoolery Wrote:P.S. Thanks to all of you assholes that didn't appreciate the 100% true story I posted this morning.

Tom I :wub: you.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - asshat - 12-01-2004

The part of the story that I find hard to believe is..........

TomFoolery Wrote:.........and I was carrying her upstairs to the bedroom.

with a block and tackle, maybe.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - TomFoolery - 12-01-2004

cLaY Wrote:good story shit dick, would have been RACKable SaladTosser style

I agree, I should have composed it better.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - PurpleHaze - 12-01-2004

So you were having butt sex, right?

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - TomFoolery - 12-01-2004

Purple_Haze Wrote:So you were having butt sex, right?

Nope

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - Fairiedust - 12-01-2004

Hey Tom you free this weekend?:p

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - SanDog - 12-01-2004

I love her "Dude...I think you just fucked the shit out of me".

That is funny stuff.

I'm Lazy, But I Want To Tell A Story - TomFoolery - 12-01-2004

SanDog Wrote:I love her "Dude...I think you just fucked the shit out of me".

That is funny stuff.

Exact words, dawg. I'll never forget that shit.