the battle continues - Printable Version
+- InsaneTrain Forums (https://insanetrain.com)
+-- Forum: General (https://insanetrain.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=4)
+--- Forum: General Forum (https://insanetrain.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Thread: the battle continues (/showthread.php?tid=9418)
+- InsaneTrain Forums (https://insanetrain.com)
+-- Forum: General (https://insanetrain.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=4)
+--- Forum: General Forum (https://insanetrain.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Thread: the battle continues (/showthread.php?tid=9418)
the battle continues - Undeadcannibal - 08-18-2004
Ok, I'm sitting on the toilet shitting, thinking about hot asians, reading this months 'Fat Trailer Bitch', and smelling my own gas all at once but at the same time trying not to intertwine each of these things in my mind because one can really ruin the other. Anywho, I shot out an enormous shit log and at that moment I realized that I didn't wipe myself the last time I pooped. The old crap melded with my ass pubes and dried to form an ass-pube-net, if you will. So today when I shot out that big log of human goodness(shit) It got trapped and entangled in my ass-pube-net. It was pretty messy and it hasn't dried yet. I got a fork out of the kitchen and tried to break the net, but no dice. Any ideas?
I tried the shower thing and the hot water didn't melt my ass-pube-net. And BTW, I wiped the shit off the fork with a pair of my uncle's dirty underpants which were sitting on the kitchen table before putting it back.
I had my girlfriend come over to help me with my ass-pube net. She tried to remove it with a comb, a pair of her aunt's nail clippers, and an icecube, but it didn't get rid of my asspube net and only ended up getting her dirty and smelly, so she gave up and went home.
My ass-pube-net problem was resolved by the way. My uncle had to drive me to the hospital where a proctologist had to go in a slice a layer of my ass-flesh off, although now I have extreme bleeding hemmorhoids out the wazoo!!!! And becuase we haven't yet upgraded the toilets in our house to ones that flush (yes my parents are living in the 1980's still...) we got an ear full from the hospitals psychotherapist.
Heheh! There was one funny thing that happened out of this whole mess. When the doctor was inspecting my net I blasted gas in her face! The look in her eyes was fantastic, I thought she was going to cry!
No my girlfriend had to break up with me thanks to my stupid uncle. My ass of an uncle was like "you're not allowed going out with my daughter any more!" and I was like "FINE THEN!" and then slammed the door in my face. My sister is looking ok now so I might ask her out soon, pending that my dad says it's ok for us to go steady.
the battle continues - Undeadcannibal - 08-18-2004
it's an old story, but I do like it.
the battle continues - pepsi - 08-18-2004
your a very weird person UDC just make sure to not forget to wipe that ass next time so it wont get stuck.
the battle continues - Undeadcannibal - 08-18-2004
I'll, get to it eventually.
the battle continues - Velvet - 08-18-2004
Well seeing as its your sister your dad should be cool with it as if you get her young enough you can teach her to eat the crusty bits from around your butt so you dont get the ass-pube-net problem again . But im sure she can help with the hemriods problem . She can stick her fingers in some dead dog guts and make them all slimy and then push the hemroids back inside .. Or you could see the doc about cutting them off and you could take them home and give them out for presents to people . The chunky poopy bits would taste yum fried . They would be like fish balls :lol:
the battle continues - Undeadcannibal - 08-18-2004
nah, only I can eat 'em. and I decided not to go with ym sister. I like CW better.
the battle continues - TomFoolery - 08-18-2004
This my fliends is perfect troll train material. RACK! the story.
the battle continues - CodeWarrior - 08-18-2004
This puts me in the mood for absolutely nothing.
the battle continues - Undeadcannibal - 08-18-2004
I think that's a compliment?
the battle continues - The Outrageous Toob - 02-27-2007
Cannibal! You junkslut sucking fuckshit! I might be several years too late but this is most assuredly not your tale. I was amazed at all the crap that came up when I Google'ed my old Gamefaqs moniker; more plagiarizing of my stuff than anything I've ever seen. Too bad I never got any of it copyrighted.
Oh, and I was "thinking about hot girls and reading this months EGM." :fuckYou:
the battle continues - Dr. Lecter - 02-27-2007
He last posted 5 months ago. I'll add UDC here for this thread in case he vanity searches any time soon.
Great story though. Have you published a book of these great stories? A spork, um I mean a dude here wants to know.
the battle continues - Fatfuckfrank - 02-27-2007
this thread is unworthy
the battle continues - The Outrageous Toob - 02-27-2007
Dr. Lecter Wrote:He last posted 5 months ago. I'll add UDC here for this thread in case he vanity searches any time soon.
Great story though. Have you published a book of these great stories? A spork, um I mean a dude here wants to know.
Nope, never got any of the stuff published. To be honest, most of it was (unfortunately) not true, they were simply the stoned ramblings of a bored college kid. For whatever reason I decided to google my old name (The Outrageous Toob) and found serveral quotes and/or mis-quotes.
By the way, while I'm on here, what is this forum? More specifically, what is insanetrain.com?
the battle continues - BIRD33 - 02-27-2007
Cancer survivor forum.
the battle continues - Paddy - 02-27-2007
The Outrageous Toob Wrote:my old Gamefaqs moniker
What's a gamefag?
the battle continues - The Outrageous Toob - 02-27-2007
Paddy Wrote:What's a gamefag?
Fags that play games.
No really, GameFAQs... if you don't know what GameFAQs its best not to ask I assure you.
the battle continues - Paddy - 02-27-2007
Welcome!
the battle continues - ntype - 02-27-2007
what the hell happends around here ?