[Beaucephus]

One day, a wife came home from work with a spectacular diamond ring. "Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks. "Well," she replies, "my boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."

A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. "Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks. She replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."

Another week later, his wife comes home, driving in a red Ferrari. "Where did you get that car?" her husband asks. Again she repeats the same story about the lotto and her share of the winnings.

That night, the wife asked her husband to draw her a nice warm bath while she got undressed. When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the plug at the far end.

"What's this?" she asks her husband. "Well," he replies, "we don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we???"

[Velvet]

:lmao: beau thats a beauty

[halfasleep]

Makes you wonder who's the real "Lottery winner"??? :p :p :p

[Suicide Jim]

here's another one that goes along with the whole lotto ticket theme

boy and his grandpa are out fishing one day and the grandpa decides to have a beer. the boy asks "can i have one?" the grandpa replies "can your penis touch your ass hole?" the boy says no. "then you can't have one" the grandpa says.
later on, on the drive home, the grandpa lights a cigarette. again the little boy asks "can i have one" and again the granps says "can your penis touch your asshole?" "no" the boy sighs. the grandpa says "well then you can't have one"
on their way back they stop at a gas station and the boy gets one of those scratch off lotto cards. after scratching a few off the boy realizes he's won five thousand dollars. the grandpa askes the boy "are you gonna share any of that money with me?" the boy asks "can your penis touch your asshole?" the grandpa says "well, yes it can" the boy replies "then go fuck your self."

[Velvet]

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: good one jim

[halfasleep]

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: