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new pun contest
#1

top this, phukkers

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.


Confusednarg:

I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
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#2

A woman has twins. She names one Amal and Juan. Someone asks to see pictures. She shows a picture of Juan. The person asks to see the picture of Amal.

The woman says:

"Well if you have seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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#3

nice ones. keep em coming.

Shoot Straight . . . Conserve Ammo . . . And Never Ever Cut A Deal With A Dragon
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#4

i like this one, UDC:

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess
looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per
passenger."

Confusednarg:

I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#5

That's a good'n! I like that one the best so far.
Smile

Shoot Straight . . . Conserve Ammo . . . And Never Ever Cut A Deal With A Dragon
Reply
#6

i think ya just want me to post to steal the damn pts, freak

Confusednarg:

I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#7

hes a tricky one.lol

DIVTIVS VOS OBTVTVS IN CASSVS, PENITVS CASSVS OBTVTVS IN VOS.
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#8

i just tried to thieve udc and got jilted. again. i gotta talk to lee about this shit. gettin ridiculous.
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#9

I know, it's getting way to hard anymore.

Shoot Straight . . . Conserve Ammo . . . And Never Ever Cut A Deal With A Dragon
Reply
#10

get yer money inda bank, fast, someone is trollin for pts

Confusednarg:

I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#11

Indeed.

Shoot Straight . . . Conserve Ammo . . . And Never Ever Cut A Deal With A Dragon
Reply
#12

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#13

Hundreds of years ago, in a small country known as Tridia, there lived an evil Oger that would kick the people in the city. The Trids feared him The Trids went to church and begged the Rabbi to intervene. The Rabbi found the Oger and pleaded with him to stop the kicking. The Oger said, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for trids".

[Image: line.gif]
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#14

old but still damn funny:

. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little,
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath.
This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....A super
calloused
fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#15

Charlie the piano tuner goes to Heather Lockleer's house to work on her piano. It is in bad shape, but within hours he has it playing to perfection. Heather is so impressed, she pays his bill and says she wishes there was more she could do. Charlie says that he would love nothing more than a kiss from her. Heather replies, "Sorry Charlie, only the best tuners get to be star kissed."



We'll be here all week folks. Thanks for coming by.

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#16

Cat daddy!
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#17

VitaminE Wrote:Cat daddy!
Does "it" still refer to musicals yet am arroused his or her the title?

Who said I had to make sense ?
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#18

An angel clam gets a chance to go back to visit a friend. He parties hard at the buddies night club in NoCal. He gets back to heaven and realizes....

I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco.

I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?


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#19

SanDog Wrote:An angel clam gets a chance to go back to visit a friend. He parties hard at the buddies night club in NoCal. He gets back to heaven and realizes....

I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco.
:loool:

[Image: line.gif]
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#20

The torturer's roof-top workshop caused the innards of several ladies to spill onto his lawn. Next time, he should gutter.

I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?


Reply


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