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Your best stupid joke.
Mine:
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
^^^^^t'was rated the funniest joke for Canadians. You Americans like the "I think I killed my friend" "Well, make sure he's dead" *bang* "Ok, now what" joke.
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A mexican bandito asked his friend if he knows Pancho Villa.
"Do I know Pancho Villa? Do I know Pancho Villa?? One day after I rob bank,
my pistollo is yanked from my holstero. Behind me stand Pancho Villa.
He take my money, say 'Pull down yer pants an take a chit and eat it.' Rather than to die, I pull down my pants an take a chit and I eat it.
While I eat my chit, I yank his pistollo. I say, 'Pancho Villa, pull down yer pants an take a chit and you eat it'. Rather than to die, he pulled down is pants an take a chit an he ate it.
You ask me if I know Pancho Villa? We had lunch together!
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How do you make an egg roll?
Push it.
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Two snakes are slithering down the sidewalk.
One says to the other, ?Hey, are we poisonous??
The other says, I don't know, why??
The first snake says, Because I just bit my lip.?
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An old man and a dog are sitting on the front porch. A salesman walks up. The dog stands.
The salesman says, "Howdy. Beautiful day today. Um, does your dog bite?"
The old man says, "Nope. My dog don't bite"
The salesman approaches the porch and the dog runs out and begins to rip the salesman to shreds. After a huge struggle, the man fights the dog away and manages to stand up. "I thought you said your dog didn't bite."
The old man says, "That ain't my dog."
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Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first robin. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and ate until they could eat no more.
"I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up into the tree" said the first robin.
"I know what you mean," said the second robin. "Let's just lay back here and bask in the warm sun."
"O.K.," said the first robin.
So they plopped down to bask in the sun. Soon after they had fallen asleep, a big cat appeared . . . and gobbled up the two robins.
As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he said . . . .
"I just love Baskin Robins."
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Two dudes were standing at the bus stop waiting on a bus. There was an old dog laying under a tree licking his balls. One of the dude looks over and says, "I wish I could do that." So the other dude says, "You do? Well your a fucking fag then".
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Three ducks went into court. The judge called the first one to the stand.
"What is your name?" he asked.
"Quack." the duck answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was blowing bubbles." he answered.
The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the duck and called up the next one.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Quack," the duck answered.
"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.
"I was blowing bubbles." the duck replied.
Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, so he called up the next duck.
"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess, Quack." he said.
"No," said the duck, "My name is Bubbles."
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Q: Why do gay men make good linemen?
A: They love penetrating the defense.
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The huge stranger rode into town riding a giant black bear, crocodile under one arm, and whipping the bear with a rattlesnake. He gets off the bear, scoops up a bucket of sheep dip and drinks it down and walks into the saloon with the crocodile.
At the bar, the stranger yells out, "Beer". The bartender gently sets down a cold mug in front of him. The stranger, chugs down the beer, throws the crocodile up on the bar, hits it in the back of the head. The croc opens its mouth, he throws his huge penis in the crocs mouth, hits it again and the croc closes its mouth. About five minutes later, he hits the croc again, it opens his mouth, he removes his penis, hits the croc again, and puts it back on the floor beside him.
He turns to the bartender and yells, "Beer".
Then he turns to the stunned crowd in the bar and says, "I'll bet there ain't no other mother fucker in this joint that could do that shit!".
Then, in the back of the bar, G$D stands up and says, "I could.......if you wouldn't hit me quite as hard."
![[Image: line.gif]](http://www.goranot.com/jokes/line.gif)
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What did one sand dune say to the other sand dune?
How you dune?
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW??
The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
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What do you call a blonde, a brunette and a redhead waiting on line at the DMV?
Lisa, Jen and Christine.
(This post was last modified: 06-24-2005, 10:51 PM by
Dr. Lecter.)
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A bling bling gangsta pimp goes into a bar. Down the way he sees this phat honey lady sitting alone. He starts ordering her drinks. Soon, she comes over and says, "Yo G, why you be trippin Money man. Thank you for dem foties, but I is a lesbian". The hip hop pimp says, "Lesbian? What dat?"
She says, "Yo, see that phat booty chic over there? She so fly. I would like to lick her big ol tiddies. I would like to go jungle fever on that coochie". Pimpmister says, "God damn yo, I'm a lesbian too".
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What is brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's 5th movement.
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
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time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
my kid told me this joke at least 20 times
she cracked up every time
and so did i
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.
Thomas Merton
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What's got 2 legs and bleeds?
half a dog!
Blondie Wrote:Lad is all I can think about.
![[Image: Junkinbox.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v660/run71324/Junkinbox.jpg)
:d
