07-14-2004, 06:05 AM
A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition
to find the most embarrassing moments in listeners lives. The
following
are the final four place getters:
4th place
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy & started to run amuck. I was
finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust &
annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving
herself right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she
looked me in the eye & said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't
let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
Daddy's pee-pee last night!". The silence was deafening, after this
enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing!
I mustered the last of my dignity & walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing that I heard as the door closed behind me were the
screams of laughter."
3rd place
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing downstairs.
I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride
to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time
to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights
suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled "surprise".
My entire family, ... aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of
my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to
the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like
an eternity.
Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again."
2nd place
"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no
price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the public
address system and boomed out for all the store to hear. "PRICECHECK
ON LANE 13. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks". In a very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address system:
DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND
YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?" AND THE WINNER IS!
This one happened at a major Australian University in October last year. In a biology lecture, a professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female freshman, raised her hand and asked, "If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on to add some statistical data.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, thepoor girl
turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books,and without a word walked out of the class, and never returned.
However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a classic.
Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of
your tongue and not in the back of your throat!"
to find the most embarrassing moments in listeners lives. The
following
are the final four place getters:
4th place
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy & started to run amuck. I was
finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust &
annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving
herself right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she
looked me in the eye & said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't
let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
Daddy's pee-pee last night!". The silence was deafening, after this
enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing!
I mustered the last of my dignity & walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing that I heard as the door closed behind me were the
screams of laughter."
3rd place
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing downstairs.
I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride
to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time
to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights
suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled "surprise".
My entire family, ... aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of
my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to
the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like
an eternity.
Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again."
2nd place
"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no
price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the public
address system and boomed out for all the store to hear. "PRICECHECK
ON LANE 13. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks". In a very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address system:
DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND
YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?" AND THE WINNER IS!
This one happened at a major Australian University in October last year. In a biology lecture, a professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female freshman, raised her hand and asked, "If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on to add some statistical data.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, thepoor girl
turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books,and without a word walked out of the class, and never returned.
However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a classic.
Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of
your tongue and not in the back of your throat!"
