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SanDog Wrote:The torturer's roof-top workshop caused the innards of several ladies to spill onto his lawn. Next time, he should gutter.
Thanks for the info.If you were him would you do that?
Who said I had to make sense ?
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The Unic's operating system had been removed.
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
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A director is screen testing Sylvestor Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger for a new film about classic composers. Not having figured out who to give which part to, he asks Sly who he would like to be.
Stallone says "I like Mozart. I want to be Mozart"
So the Director says, "Very well, you can be Mozart" Then he turns to Arnie and says "Arnie, who would you like to play ?"
And Arnie says "Ah'll be Bach!"
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
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And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in
ten did!
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.
Thomas Merton
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snarg Wrote:And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in
ten did!
What happened? Ah.Are you serious? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Who said I had to make sense ?
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Two guys walk into a bar, one guy ducks, the other say "ow!"
Shoot Straight . . . Conserve Ammo . . . And Never Ever Cut A Deal With A Dragon
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thats what you get for bein a thief.
Harvester of Cunt Nectar,
Sons of Cunnilingus member
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. Friars behind on their belfry payments opened a small florist shop to
raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a
rival
florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good
fathers to close down, but they would not. So, the rival florist hired
Hugh
MacTaggart, a thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the
friars and
trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Only Hugh, can prevent
florist
friars.
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.
Thomas Merton
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I like the forest friars one! Man, I've never heard any of these. I need more friends...
Shoot Straight . . . Conserve Ammo . . . And Never Ever Cut A Deal With A Dragon
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maybe the best of the year:
"The only politician in America I know with a mandate is Jim McGreevey." âDemocratic strategist James Carville, on the former governor of New Jersey, who announced he was gay
:lool: phoooking phunny
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.
Thomas Merton
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I just saw a movie about some guy who had amazing revelations while eating his cereal. It was called Breakfast Epiphanies.
:fuckYou:
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He ate wheat even though he was allergic to it, because he was a gluten for punishment.
:fuckYou:
Michael Jackson likes 28 year old boys.
(You gotta say it)
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Dr. Frankeinsten is resting when he hears the screeching tires and a very loud noise outside his castle. Minutes later there is a knock at the door. Igor answers the door and a man is holding a woman in his arms. Hello, my name is Bob Hill and my wife Betty has just been hurt badly in a car accident. Igor says, "There is not much we can do. The nearest hospital is hours away. My master is a doctor. I will get him.".
Dr. Frankenstein appears and tells Igor to rush Mr. and Mrs. Hill to his laboratory. He lies them each on a table and begins to work on Betty. He soon realizes that there is no saving her. Within an hour they are both dead. Dr. Frankenstein is anguished. He retires to the conservatory and begins to play his organ. Hauntingly sad music fills the castle.
Igor, still in the laboratory, can hear the music very loudly. Igor notices a few fingers on Betty's hand twitching. Then she begins to sit up. Igor notices that Bob does the same. Unable to contain his excitement, Igor runs toward the conservatory, "Master! Master! The Hill's are alive with the sound of music"
![[Image: line.gif]](http://www.goranot.com/jokes/line.gif)
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A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
thanks, ninja, i stole this from jokes, good one
narg:
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.
Thomas Merton
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