03-15-2005, 09:44 PM
[indent][b]Aries (March 21 - April 19) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today you will happen upon a prediction by Nostradamus which will scare the living daylights out of you. As well it should, although how a medieval seer foresaw your exact name is anybody's guess. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Taurus (April 20 - May 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will see an ancient symbol appearing in the whorls of your fingerprints. That, combined with the dreams of apocalypse may make you worry. I wouldn't though -- it's just a vitamin B12 deficiency. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Gemini (May 21 - June 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Don't worry about your hair. It's your breath that makes people look at you like that. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Cancer (June 21 - July 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today you will begin work on a life-size pterodactyl robot, which you will use to terrorize the city. Either that or you'll take a nap. It just depends what sort of mood you're in. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Leo (July 23 - August 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will design a really wonderful new type of placemat, today, and it will make you fantastically wealthy, providing you get it on the market before your competitors. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Virgo (August 23 - September 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to mumble. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Libra (September 22 - October 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will have a rather unfortunate episode involving turnips, today. Later, however, you'll be able to write a killer song about it. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Excellent time to race one of those little Shriners cars up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times. Also, you'll meet an angel, but don't let on that you know who she really is. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]A hive of naked mole rats will move in with you today. You will find that they are relatively tidy creatures, but that it's a trifle difficult to explain their presence to your friends. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will be hired as a cook/housekeeper for 7 extremely short gentlemen, who all live together. Stay away from apples, for a while. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You'll go out to dinner with a new person, soon. Remember the advice of my old Uncle Stonebender, though: "It's fine if someone eats like a bird, as long as they don't have kids." [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Pisces (February 19 - March 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Oh go ahead. You know you want to. Besides, nobody is watching. [/indent][/indent]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today you will happen upon a prediction by Nostradamus which will scare the living daylights out of you. As well it should, although how a medieval seer foresaw your exact name is anybody's guess. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Taurus (April 20 - May 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will see an ancient symbol appearing in the whorls of your fingerprints. That, combined with the dreams of apocalypse may make you worry. I wouldn't though -- it's just a vitamin B12 deficiency. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Gemini (May 21 - June 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Don't worry about your hair. It's your breath that makes people look at you like that. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Cancer (June 21 - July 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today you will begin work on a life-size pterodactyl robot, which you will use to terrorize the city. Either that or you'll take a nap. It just depends what sort of mood you're in. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Leo (July 23 - August 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will design a really wonderful new type of placemat, today, and it will make you fantastically wealthy, providing you get it on the market before your competitors. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Virgo (August 23 - September 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to mumble. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Libra (September 22 - October 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will have a rather unfortunate episode involving turnips, today. Later, however, you'll be able to write a killer song about it. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Excellent time to race one of those little Shriners cars up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times. Also, you'll meet an angel, but don't let on that you know who she really is. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]A hive of naked mole rats will move in with you today. You will find that they are relatively tidy creatures, but that it's a trifle difficult to explain their presence to your friends. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will be hired as a cook/housekeeper for 7 extremely short gentlemen, who all live together. Stay away from apples, for a while. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You'll go out to dinner with a new person, soon. Remember the advice of my old Uncle Stonebender, though: "It's fine if someone eats like a bird, as long as they don't have kids." [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Pisces (February 19 - March 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Oh go ahead. You know you want to. Besides, nobody is watching. [/indent][/indent]